Vagueposting

How and why did I get myself into this mess? It's not even started yet and I'm already wrestling with bureaucracy and my own stupid decisions. I hate this. Reasonably I have done everything in my power, as of now, to resolve this matter, but that sense of tension and dread still keeps creeping in, as is natural of me. I wish sometimes I could just choose to numb my mind and only use in for things that I hate doing but nonetheless matter; better yet just let my entire body run on autopilot, somehow I have a feeling that it'd do better that way. Is this how it is for everyone on planet Earth, or is this specific to my situation only? Either way I am suffering for it; surely someone else before has had the same predicament. I hope they ended up coming out of it alive and well. What a world. What a day.