yayyayayay

hi folks it's me again! idk who reads my blogs but if you do then thanks. i have a lot to say today i guess, this is like the third blog post i'm making today. D1 yapper over here :')

aaanyways, let's get to the point. so i was eating lunch earlier w my friend and someone who i rlly wanna be friends with (we need a word for that ngl, like it's a bit different from a squish, more.. casual? idk, i js want a shorter way to say it. coz if i js say acquaintance then it's also not saying what i mean), but anyways this person says to me "y'know i really like your style" and it's like. Me? ME. omg xDD a cool person said i'm cool!!1!1!! i guess i do sort of have a squish on this person, but i'm just like so ass at making friends to begin with, so i don't think i'll ever get to be close friends with them. and it's honestly so baffling to me because if i don't care about the person then i can be really talkative with them. like there's this dude in my history class who sits in front of me, and idk we just kinda like to annoy each other. and this dude and the person i wanna be friends with are both like, talkative. but it's just easier to talk to this dude who i can mess with more coz idc if he likes me or not. i think it could also be becoz this dude is like.. more in my league if that makes sense. like friendship league (lmao my little pony core?). he's more of a similar.. coolness level to me. but this person who i rlly wanna befriend, they're like. The tiger's spots. like epic. and me and them have things we could talk about! but i just like. can't 😭. everything i say to them feels like the neutral dialogue option that doesn't increase the friendship level. and i can't put on my usual Normal act of smiling like "🙂" and going "heh" at something that isn't even funny to me because well. that's not me. that's just the me i present to seem like normal (well as normal as i can seem with how i dress). ohh wait lowkey js realized that it's easier to talk to the dude in my history coz i can put on the Normal act sometimes coz idc how cool he thinks i am. anyways, yeah. i js don't know how to talk to them.

also, someone also very cool told me they like my style today too! it was rlly nice coz this person is kinda like a role model to me. i guess that i have style. B)