I said terrible things to my friend, and I deeply regret it

Feeling like shit right now. I lashed out at my friend while I was angry, but they didn't fight back at all. They just sounded so defeated. Like they were just waiting for it to happen. I didn't mean to hurt them. I was upset, and just looking for someone, anyone to blame. I should've never said anything like that to them. I didn't hear from them at all yesterday. And today, they haven't said anything yet. I told them that I was sick of them being lazy and that they never do anything, and that I hated that they never said a word. And how they just wallowed in their misery. And only replied with emojis. I don't know why I said that. I was okay with it before. I guess I was just really emotional at the time. They said I was right, and that I was justified being angry with them. But being in the right doesn't really matter if they're sad and hurt. I always just wanted to make them happy. I heard them genuinely laugh sometime ago. They said that their laugh sounded weird, but it was beautiful. I was actually speechless. Does anything really matter besides just being with them? All I ever wanted from them was their company. I vented to them. And I felt like they didn't care, so I lashed out at them. I should've known they did, I simply should've. But they never once said anything like that. I really miss them already. I had a talk with another friend, and I'm feeling better. But I feel incredibly guilty for what I had done. I picked at their insecurity at a time when they were being vulnerable. If they're gone for good, then I'll need to live with the fact that this is all my fault. And that there's nothing I can do to fix this. I really do hope they say something. I'm really worried about them. I just want to talk to them again like normal. I'll never say anything like that ever again. I really hope I didn't do something irreversible. I just want to talk to them right now. More than anything else. I know I'm in the wrong here. I just really hope that there's something I can do. They're a gloomy person in general, and they are always in some bout of depression. I just wish I could do something more for them. But as it stands right now, all I can do is beg and plead. I've never once begged anyone like this before, I must seem a real pathetic person to them. But I really care for them. And I never should've said anything to offend them at all. I'll send another message, I know they're alive. They're updating their discord status, so I know that much atleast. Regardless of how this goes, it'll be okay I hope.