The Female Experience on the Male Experience

I want to start this off by saying that I- in no way, shape, or form am I judging these people. Even if I am, I’ve made mistakes too (due to my own naivety and lack of knowledge/ignorance) so in reality I am NO ONE to judge. All this is simply an observation I’ve made that I wanted to share because, in a way, I feel judged (and honestly I judge myself lol) by the men around me. Maybe I’m a little weird for sharing all of this, but I feel like other people have made the same observations. This is not about all men or all women but rather my experience with cisgender straight men and women, maybe I’ve just met shitty cis men or cis men before they stopped being shitty. 

I had the idea to write this article or blog, I honestly have no idea what this is, when I was going through my fiance’s messages on instagram while taking a shit. One can say I’m at fault for going through them and that I wasn’t supposed to see them, or whatever lame excuse your husband tells you or you tell your wife. Either way, I saw a lot of stuff about how guys interact with each other, or at least the stereotypical “straight” cisgender male that I have a lot of opinions on that I don’t want to share with my fiance because: 1. He’s not a confrontational person (like at all) and 2. A debate with my fiance is not something I’d enjoy. 

The Desire Of A “Trad Wife”

Now, this isn’t really on my fiance. If anything, my fiance diaries the opposite. For him to stay at home with the kids and clean/cook while I go to work, (that’s not our case at the moment but I wouldn’t really be opposed to it if it were lol). Anyhow, this is more on his best friend, who will be given the name of “Friend A.” Friend A tends to share his desire for a traditional wife, specifically Brazilian (I’m not sure why). The thing is, Friend A is a trust fund kid with no job or desire for one. I don’t think he’s ever spoken of a career he really wants or any dreams/goals with my fiance either, but to my knowledge, he’s in college. He shares videos of women (asian women and afro latinas) but not in the way women do, he does it with a fetish mindset while women share videos of other women with each other to admire. I really doubt this man really wants to be a traditional husband either, because I don’t think he has ever worked a day in his life, and I honestly doubt he wants to either. He’s one of those men who would want “a pure woman” with a body count of 0. There’s a lot of disrespect towards women that come from a place of privilege, ignorance, and/or a total lack of empathy. Which brings me to my next point.

The Empathy Imbalance

Is there an empathy shortage? Like seriously, the way men act scares the shit out of me. I thought this was just when I was in high school/middle school due to the impact Andrew Tate and red pill content had on teenage boys but as time went on I came to the realization that it was due to the lack of empathy. This could be due to not being taught/corrected when they were younger by their parents or maybe the absence of a female role model. There was a time my fiance was talking to me about Friend A and a girl he was dating. Friend A doesn’t do flings but I don’t think he likes having a girlfriend either (it’s honestly difficult to understand the guy because he’s the opposite of what he wants). My fiance was telling me a story about how Friend A and Friend A’s girlfriend were on the phone and she was crying due to the lack of respect and affection she received from Friend A. Instead of communicating what he wanted out of their relationship, why he doesn’t want to show affection, and/or if he even wanted to be with her at all, Friend A was just laughing at her for crying. This had happened constantly, and unfortunately the girl was already mentally ill, so when stuff like this would happen, it would push her to self mutilate. Friend A would just laugh if she did again. I don’t remember if Friend A was the one to end the relationship or if it was her, either way I hope she’s better now. 

This was just one example of both lack of respect and empathy though, but there’s a lot more that I can use. Like when I got cheated on and I asked why he did it and he replied “because I didn’t think I’d get caught.” Your feelings don’t matter to them, it’s their feelings that always come first to them. 

They don’t ever really believe they’re in the wrong. An example of this is you pushing a guy to be better, and they just see you as someone pushing them instead of seeing the reason as to WHY you’re pushing them. You could be teaching them how to have better hygiene, to be a better father, to be a better significant other, etc; and all they see is someone up their ass. They’ll never say thank you, they’ll never be grateful, they’ll just look back and say “wow I am at a better place than I was earlier on,” and you’ll never get a thank you out of them because they will believe they did it all themselves and all you did was make life harder for them. Which is unfair because the whole time you were trying to help them all you felt is guilt for pushing them so much, all because you don’t have a lack of empathy. My point is women feel way more for others than men will ever do.

Men Want Men

This is a short point because it’s very straightforward. Men will only ever do things for the validation of other men. As an example: dating certain women, not because they actually like them, but to get the approval of their guy friends (which kind of goes with my previous point because they didn’t think about how it’d affect the woman at all). This applies to many many situations but if you truly think about it, the things they do or say they enjoy they only do because other men have done it.

This might be updated in the future, or maybe I’ll forget I even wrote this. I apolgize if my grammar is bad and for any typos, I'm too lazy to change it. If you have any questions or want to know my thoughts on anything please comment because I suck at texting. Anyway, thank you for taking time to read this and for making it this far, it's cool asf knowing people care about my stuff lol.