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no not because i fear i'm gonna get hit on or assaulted or anything
just
just thinking about communicating with a guy scares me.
or it's just i've never found guy that genuinely seems nice.
My class is just filled with egoistic goofs. who won't even reply you politely unless you're pretty enough.
my mom says it's just the society and the bringing up of guys in general, as the generation is changing the boys will get better too.
online too most of them were....rather judgemental..and bully...never really fun to talk to.
In 3rd grade i remember, a boy mocked me for liking Pokémon.
then few months back online when i made a fanart of Hongjoong nd posted it on my story and one of the guy who i talked to sent me ' don't tell me you like that gay shit'
....
i don't want to think so much but sometimes i really get overwhelmed about how to act or talk about if i'm around boys, or ever had to interact one. From a small age i have always lied about my interests and likes to play safe.
even my fav color! it was blue! but i wrote pink to fit in lol. i was in 2nd grade.
i stayed out of both groups of girls and boys because i was scared of being judged. even though i made good friends throughout my elementary and middle school, i never really told them about lot of my interests. they never got to know either.
still am, only few people get me talk to them without making me overwhelmed and they all are online friends. never in real life.
its only one best friend in real life who i can talk about ANYTHING ..but she moved out after 10th..idk when is the next time we're gonna meet.
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apathy
don't worry because you're not alone in this! i too am scared to talk to especially cis men because of their overall culture that is enabled just because they're cis men. i've mostly had female friends, but i've lost most of them through of life as well because their lives were centered over cis men. and over shallow things like how they're going to be precieved (not just by cis men) and toxicity within fashion/aesthetics culture as well. i've met posers as well because they claimed they were aware about the system and when i actually wanted to spark up the convo, they just ignored me or shut me down. and all of this happened with cis women, and god forbid if anything of that happened with cis men because it would be worse.
so don't worry girl, you're not alone, and please preach your story and feelings because they are true!
Yes! And the double standard is so real. society lets toxic male behavior slide all the time, but anything women do or care about gets hate. it's exhausting. I've had to pretend around so many friends just to keep the peace, and it sucks.
by Me○w☆; ; Report
i'm so sorry :( we're together in this
by apathy; ; Report