I messed up

I've never been brave enough to actually cvt. I know I can't hide it if I do, anyway. My parents would definitely notice, because I'm always around them. Heck, I wish I got more time to myself. 

In 2024, on Christmas Eve, I started to scr*tch up my skin with sc*ssors and kn*ves. I was talking to a lot of people with bad thoughts, and basically being the therapist friend for a lot of people. There were a lot of bad things going on in my life at the time. I didn't know how to handle it. I figured since my friends were h**ting themselves it must be a good way to release emotions. So, I decided to do it in a less severe way. The scratches burned sometimes, and I didn't care if the scissors were rusty. But, it hurt my mom more than it ever hurt me. I didn't care how I was affected by it. But I'm a bad liar. I confessed to my mom when she sensed something was wrong. She ended up crying, because I made her feel like a bad mom. She thought it was her fault. It's my biggest regret. But she made me promise never to do it again. She has no idea I've broken it a few times, and I feel like a bad daughter.