Poetry

here's my first poem-slop i made when I was like freshly 17 — i just finished Bojack Horseman so i'm pretty sure it's inspired from Alison Tafel's "The View from Halfway Down". It's about a maladaptive dependency on digital media, drugs, and dissociation. no set rythym although it's coincidentally mostly trimeter and tetrameter


The Static Speaks My Name

The static hums, it whispers low
The static speaks my name
And I, the watcher, wait for it
To meekly speak the same

Tender are the chemicals
That remedy the pain
There is no love that's larger than
The wounds inside my brain

Friendly people; busy hobbies
Keep a mad man sane
Still, what I'd give to hear again
The static speak my name


i wrote this one because my housemates were fucking and woke me up and i couldn't stop thinking about sex, then i fantasized about being objectified until i fell back asleep and dreamed of assault lol and then I though why am i like this... so then i wrote a sonnet about CSA and the cyclical sexual abuse i've tolerated. first quatrain draws inspiration from Lauren Eden's Lioness Awakens — "when you are not fed love on a silver spoon, you learn to lick it off knives".

       
                     Dagger     

In my youth, when I lacked any stable
Models of love language, I learned off of
Tongues like knives that rendered me unable
To differentiate assault from love.
And since then, even more curious hands,
Looking for what became an easy mark,
Searched a broken body that couldn't stand
To see it'd want to finish what they'd start.
So now I crave this feeling and all its
Carnal sin, and only do I think I'm
Pretty when I'm reduced to just my skin.
In my loneliest moments, I lament
How fondly I've abandoned sense to just
Sate my flesh in the brevity of lust.


wrote this one for my partner while I was drunk and i'm going to write much, much more for her...


                                Persephone

First a bud, then a bloom, soon petals on the ground,
But I would soon as die as I would leave the love I've found
She wasn't born like you or I — she sprouted from a seed
this loving lilac cleft the ground and blossomed just for me