A beautiful story/satire if you won't get it

 69 years ago a peculiar guy named Slash met a peculiar guy named Kirk Hammet. Perchance. They fell in love and 21 years later Kirk gave birth to a beautiful Mexican baby boy Robert Trujillo. Robert tough has birth defects of which are crab like tendencies because he has 2 dads. 

Kirk and Slash believe in a religion called undertale. Of which god is the legendary being Toby fox. Kirk on the surface seems like a loyal person but deep down he is... UNLOYAL. You see he's having an affair with... Gordon Ramsey and has a CHILD. Lars Ulrich. Kirk is not a faithful undertale follower... So the monstrous boogeyman James Hethfield is haunting his dreams... "unloyal... unloyal... YEAH" he says... As Kirk shuffles in his bed... But a specific priest who wants to repent those who deltarune... and even worse... FNAF. Is on a mission to save those damned souls. DAVE MUSTAINE. The priest who once sold peas by the UN headquaters is now a... "faithfull" priest because the boogeyman tried to speed date him under the guise of Pomni. "Sorry Dave... I ain't yo Pomni... I ain't yo Jax... I am the boogeyman" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Dave shrieks, knocking down a table and running out of the oil rig into the sea. As he swam to the shore he felt his limbs weakening he saw a light in the dark blue sky... The 3 holee spirits land. Sans, Obama and Sonic the hedgehog... "Yeah! This is happenin'" and the final deity lands... Toby fox... "Dave... You've been granted the ultimate power... The power of Undertale..." Toby holds out his paw "come our path...  And you'll see the true power of... Undertale..". Dave held out his hand and his vision faded... He woke up in his room... And remembered yesterdays events... But he tought to himself... What will he do with his dear love Markiplier... but Markiplier... Oh he's no saint... Markiplier has an affair with Robert...

Higher entities are never pure... Quite the opposite... Toby Fox is married to Xavier the rennegade angel... But Xavier is having an affair with Nathan Explosion and Nathan is having an affair with Obama but Obama has a harem consisting of one direction... The boogeyman on other hand... Is having an affair with Slash and Slash is having an affair with Freddy Fazbear... BUT FREDDY. Has an affair with Shadow the hedgehog... But Shadow... Oh... He's got an affair with Kirk

Stay tuned for the first chapter of Undertale verse