for the very first time in my life, i feel like a person - blog #4

August 18, 2026

i had a really bad relapse a few days ago, i did things i shouldnt have, things ill take to the grave. i know anyone hearing about it would be deeply disturbed, and i dont wanna be that kind of person in others' eyes

anyway, two days later, i feel strangely at peace with myself. i havent felt this good in years and im starting to meet new people after distancing myself from my ex’s circle of friends a few months back

it still feels strange when i see people showing a genuine interest in getting to know me, treating me like im something more than just an inconvenience

deep down i feel like it could all fall apart at any moment, ive become a very unstable person. but for now, ive decided to enjoy this clarity that Kali Maa chose to gift me

there arent many days when i can say i feel good after all, so imma try to make the most of it

-Chueco.