Never underestimate queer films

So, last night while scrolling through the depths of YouTube on my carefully crafted algorithm, I found a shirt five minute queer film. I ofc clicked on it thinking “huh, seems interesting enough”. Little did I know it was going to be a little heartbreaking.

Now, to clarify I am just a teenager that was yet to discover their sexuality (I’m an over-thinker I fear).

Anyways back to the topic at hand, the plot of the short film was basically about the main character liking her friend and trying to figure out if the friend was straight or not. Now, in the end the friend turned out to be straight.

Where this hurts most is when the main character says, “It’s not that she didn’t like me as a person or disliked my characteristics…I simply wasn’t a guy”.

As, they edited pictures of a guy’s hands, the broad back of a guy, the facial structure of one, and ect. As Jeff Buckley’s “I Know It’s Over” played in the background.

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Now, I haven’t felt anything romantic in my entire life so idk how this feels in a romantic/dating sense. But, the way I could relate to this was the lingering yearning to be a guy.

 Knowing you could’ve lived a better life as a guy and how your features would look better as a guy and not be judged as a guy it’s literally idk how to properly describe it but it’s brain rewiring to have that information. (Low-key giving “in hell looking at heaven” complex)

To find clothes that fits your broad shoulders, to find pants long enough for your legs, to find sensory friendly clothes (bc apparently they think women can’t have sensory issues), for your big arms not to be seen as “too manly”, and for you to feel comfortable in your own body. Is so much easier as a guy than it is as a girl.

Therefore, leaving me with the lingering yearning to be a guy. And let’s be honest all of us would more likely lead easier lives as a guy, society literally lowers opportunities for women but raises the standards (well I think that’s partly the patriarchy at fault as well but you get my point).

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 Anyways, please leave a comment. Short film is called “She’s not wired like you” it’s on YouTube btw.