blawg .01

I HATE HOW MANY PPL CONSTANTLY TEST YOUR BOUNDARIES!!!! idk if this happens to anyone else as much, but literally it feels like ppl are constantly testing what they can get away with with me!! it's exhausting! maybe I am on a mission from the universe to see if I can advocate for myself, which I do, but it's made me so guarded too because it's so much easier to be alone, than be given a hard time or taken advantage of. I don't wanna have to be defensive all the time! I wanna just chill and know 100% that someone's NOT trying to play with me, but sometimes it's the people you least expect too! Not even in romantic relationships either it's definitely FAMILY and friends too! I'm a pretty optimistic person, considering how hard my mental health is sometimes, but people really just say the most hurtful things and then think time passed is enough, or pressure you into things you told them you don't want to do. Like I thought you were cool and suddenly I'm hyper aware of how you really don't gaf about me. T_T