Fog

I am again faced with an old friend of mine. this grey empty void I have not felt for a while has returned to me once again to haunt my attempt at living. Small, harmless discussions feel like being crucified. Simple and quick assignments weigh heavy on my mind, felt like impossible tasks. Today, after coming home from labs, I felt this immense wave of fatigue over me. I sat at my kitchen for an hour, looking at nothing, staring at the floor daydreaming and thinking so many things. After I stood up to eat, I couldn't do it. I went straight to my bed, arranged my pillow and blankets, and hugged it in silence, hoping I could sleep faster.

I woke up to the sound of rain against my window, the light of daytime blinding me while I adjusted to my awake-ness. I was still hugging the blankets. Despite the warm summer feel my room had, it felt cozy. For a moment I was calm, without a worry. Unfortunately I had to get up to eat. My hands were starting to shake, so I had to listen to my body and provide what it needed. These last few days have felt empty. Loneliness has set in quite comfortably in my mind. It's going to take a long while to make it go away.

I never knew I needed warmth until now.

All because of a small argument.

Home isn't home anymore, my bedroom is my shelter, but it isn't home.