I dont know what im doing anymore

For what purpose do I exist?

I used to think that I knew, however

That may not be the case

I used to live, however

I don't know if I want to anymore

I used to love, however

I don't know if I've ever actually felt the emotion

No

No I have

I still love my mother

She can be difficult

And strange

But I love her

And no one else

Definitely not myself

None of it matters though, 

And yet it matters all the same

How do I go on like this?