D3@th to myself

Writing this on my phone so excuse the mistakes.

Im tired, like, done for. Ive spoken about this recently ever since ive turned 18, even then. This tiredness hasnt went away. Its getting to the point it changes me. It feels so bad and I can't describe it. It just feels awful, watching everything I used to fight for, everything i used to want to do. All fading away, all with the same termination reason. Im tired. Ive changed, but I know this isnt normal. I know its not normal to feel this way my age. Honestly I wish I could just enter the state of derealization again. If I could just get there again, I would be able to not even remember my whole day, time will fly so much faster, and tasks will feel easier. I will become a entity that can focus on everything else rather than what is present. I will feel as if I was in 3rd person. Someone tell me what im doing wrong here. Energy is just depleted from me. I dont feel depressed so to say, but the symptoms of that, is so evident. But for some reason I dont feel sad all the time I dont have depressing days so to say, I feel as if I have regular emotions through out the day. Im nkt sure im not a doctor and Im too tired to find out. Someone save me from myself.