the fog

i am so tired.

tired of figuring it out, tired of going through the motions, tired of trying, tired of failing.

i'm stuck in a limbo of sorts, neither here nor there.

what do you do when you see no clear path ahead? or any path at all for that matter.

stop and catch your breath? regroup? prepare?

how long should that moment of strategic rest last? 15 minutes? a day? 5 years? a lifetime?

i know i want a life of my own and, when the fog lifts, i'm even lucky enough to catch glimpses of my own wishes and desires for that life. then, just as i go to reach for the things i see, they vanish and i'm left stumbling along again through the foggy haze.

i'm stuck.

i've trapped myself so deeply in this place i do not wish to be and i can't seem to find my way out.