I dont know what to do with my life

I have done little studying this summer. I have mostly bedrotted and worked. This life of mine is a nightmare. It feels like I’m falling behind, socially, economically, academically, everything.

I have so many things I want to do but I’m just falling behind, I dont even know where to start, where do you look? 

Some people make a product and fight tooth and nail to get into places, and when they dont get in it is sad, but at least they have a product.

I dont even have a product, I have nothing, I have no idea what I’m doing, I’m an adult now and I am terrified. I dont know if I will be able to do this.

All my life I had hoped for a good future where I am successful, not really famous but successful. I have a job where I get money., but not to enjoy my life but to gather it for opportunities which I dont even know if they will succeed. I do not want to live only in the future, I want to enjoy my life.