I have my own back

I don’t want to be afraid to love but I have to, to protect myself

At some point there was a big issue, for the first time I didn’t feel protected by the one I love, but in the contrary, I felt like a nuisance, an inconvenience

It felt so bad I had nausea the whole time

I caught myself « petting » my own arm, a way to tell myself that it was gonna be okay

I was asking myself « how did I end up there ? where have I stopped loving myself enough to prevent these situations to happen ? » 

At that point, I had enough, I decided it was me and myself only, I am my own priority because I never was anyone else’s

From that point on, I loved myself in a way no one else could match, no one can love me as much as I love myself

I’m my own best friend, she is me and I love her, she takes care of me, she gets me my favorite bagel, she washes my hair, she buys me gifts, she doesn’t let anyone enter my life unless she is sure they will benefit me and only me, when someone messes with me she tells them to flip off, she protects me

Having no one to tell me they were there for me, I thought I was alone, the whole time it was me, I am there for me

I have my own back