golfdishes and memory

i think it's fitting that every entry for this month be an Erra one because it's the month i was born in:) poeticsm and whatnot. i personally don't celebrate birthdays for a bunch of reasons but i am especially pleased to have turned 18 this month! when i get back from my trip to Bangalore (it's why i will be dead on the neocities front and feral on tumblr) in august, i'm going to update my about page to read ADULT instead of almost-adult!

it's. i made this blog because, again, two weeks of radio silence AND SEPARATION FROM MY BELOVED KNIGHT IN SHINING PLASTIC UGHHHH and also i'm just now realizing that i might go my entire HSR career without ever obtaining a Fate collab character because i got rid of HSR on my phone to make way for genshin because my laptop couldn't play very conveniently (my mouse is fucked) but i'm neither playing genshin nor HSR because i'm not used to either medium. i used to be a mobile genshin player for like, a year, until i got my laptop so i'm a vet with my fingers (and i now play pjsk so you know my fingering game is strong) but it's still fucking inconvenient to not be able to spam attacks in genshin because of my sweaty ass fingers.

right. i have a fuckass goldfish memory because i sometimes think that i;ve written something down but it's just. in my head. it's why i'm back onto tumblr again because 1. RICKORTY GOT ME ACTING UNWISE, 2. i need to find gifs and resources for my other sakura-themed girlie-girl hyper-pink-and-teal website, and 3. i need to fucking yap about shit even if i have like. 11 followers. who mostly followed me because i kept yapping about how much i love how shittily toxic Rickorty is and i feel like i just fucking spoke about this on my previous blog hm

in other news, my ex (who is now my (i don't wanna say best friend but he fucking is such a good friend now holy shit) friend) and we'll call him uhhhhh zombie. oh my god IF YOU EVER READ THIS ENTRY DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING MOCK ME FOR THIS SHIT I DON'T GOT MUCH TO WORK WITH YOU BITCH anyways zombie got back together with his ex recently yayyyy!! i am personally very happy about this because if not for my fucking AWESOME wingwomanship and encouragement, he would have let her slip by because he's a fuckass idiot like that. BUT THEY'RE TOGETHER! and i'm genuinely so fucking happy IIM SUCH A GOOD MATCHMAKER I STILL GOT IT HAHAHAHHAHA

OH AND I MET THIS 89YO GUY IN THE RICKSHAW THE OTHER DAY and yeah lemme slow down and explain. he was like turning 90 next month? and had 60% vision loss in one eye (other one was fine yayy) and deaf in one ear (tbh i was also half-deaf because my arms were awkwardly sandwiched between him on my right and a salarywoman on my left and i couldn't pause my music (or turn it down (i would NEVER turn down kikuohana for anyone anyways (ponkotsu ningyou no uta btw)))) but he was SO fascinating to talk to!! his philosophies on life were really interesting and i really hope he lives a long and relatively healthy life and scores a century.

this world ain't worth living in but if he did it for 89 years, he can do it for 11 more. it's not even a dozen.

I AM TURNING INTO A NICE PERSON UFHOGDHSNG KILL ME I AM LITERALLY BECOMING KIND TOWARDS STRANGERS AND FORGIVING TOWARDS MY ENEMIES I MIGHT CRY I HATE THIS I AM FUCKING VOLUNTEERING SO MUCH LATELY THIS IS SO UNCHARACTERISTIC OF ME FROM LTIERALLY ANY FUCKING ANGLE IFSHFHGHAUIH

in other news, two of my friends (let's call the guy danalytics and the girl liquid petroleum) are part of some fuckass CJP (cockroach janta party (translates to cockroach people's party in english (it's basically a social media stunt that has somehow got political foothold in my country and it is FUCKING HORRIBLE (it is worse than i made it sound (google the shit going on in india right now man we're turning into a fucking dictatorship (Modi's taking a page out of Stalin's playbook)))))) protest but i don't even think CJP is behind it? it's like some internet wear-blue-to-protest kinda thing.

i'm just really worried about how politically unstable everything is getting. i never thought that things would get THIS bad in my country yannow. danalytics is going to some protest tomorrow (he told us he's just gonna write letters but idk man i'm worried) and i'm just so fucking worried because everything sucks right now and my friends are doing this dumb shit and risking their freedom (read: personal freedom (brown parent mentality is fucking shit (except he has nice parents so he'll be fine))) to protest when there is absolutely NOTHING that will come out of it. i just know it. nothing will happen. they're killing an innovator and scientist because he's hunger striking for justice for 24 lakh students (2.4 million for you international system users), they're fucking ignoring the youth, and they're going to continue to be corrupt, propaganda-spreading fucks until they somehow miraculously lose this election. which they won't because. it's fucking BJP man they always fucking cheat.

sorry i didn't mean for this to get political but. i'm struggling to stay neutral amongst this shitstorm. i don't want to take any sides because i. i don;t like ANY government or party or whatever. but it's so hard. it's so hard to stay neutral and calm when everything is going to shit. fucking 250gm of okra is like 40rs. 40cents in USD but THATS FUCKING EXPENSIVE FOR US OKAY???? i cannot live in this economy man i might just die.

haha anyways, I DREW A BIRB!!!! a very sweet sparrow, kinda grumpy BUT STILL FUCKING CUTE!!! with my awesome teal(!) fountain pen!!! and imma attach the image to whenever i blog next haha:3

20jul2026