Oh God...

I gave my senior exams this year. Got a decent 80%... Could have gotten more if I hadn't been distracted by shitty things like my angry dad fighting everyday after he came home and my mom's victim mindset, but I think these are just mere excuses. It was all in my hands-- to excel or to not. It's the result of my terrible decisions. Anyways soafter all ts, we have to choose among 4 main subjects-- arts/humanities, physics-chemistry-maths, physics-chemistry-bio and commerce... And guess what? They've forced me into taking PCM.  I have always been an art kid. I love history,music and I'd be a great humanities student imo... But I can't put all the blame on them, I, too, don't have faith in myself and I think that maybe I can enhance my potential more with math, but I'm hating it now. Though I can still change, but they won't listen to me. So I've thought about one thing. I'll give humanities exams along with my PCM exams. Ik this is going to be too stressing, but I can't do anything else...   

         I love humanities so much.

Oh my God, why can't I get things without having to fight for them with all my strength? Why do my hands have to have all the lines of hardships? I know I'm strong and you don't bother a soul more than it can handle but, just... Why?