Something i realized in my mother.

Hey, no one ever reads my blogs but whatever, anyways, hey me and my mom got into a fight, that she just started, she was yapping to me about reminders and advices in college, as always i listened to them but earlier I was very much annoyed because i already remembered all of them, and i have kept them in mind, even most of them can be too... too... too much? selfish? strict? i mean we both know that i am a wild card, i also know what i am doing, i know that they are consquences to my actions, and hey, if something happens to me, i will always learn my lessons, i'm not stupid. Back to earlier, my mom was reminding me and stuff, and i was annoyed, because i was advance studying because i am going to a prestigious university, i advanced studied because i felt like studying, i wanted to know more about my subjects, not because it is not an excuse to not know our subjects/topics were cause they have given them in advanced when we enrolled, but i really want to know about my proggrams subjects, cause i find my proggram fascinating. It is hard for me to do stuff, i don't know if i'm really that lazy, burned out, unmotivated, uninspired, or maybe i do have ADHD, but i try, well at least my mind does... My mom doesn't really see or know that i study, in the past months she kept on yabbering me about advance studying, and i wouldn't do it because she told me to, i have pride, i am not as an obidient daughther, which makes me look like the black sheep of the family, the disrespectful eldest daughther, but hey, they are way worse. I asked my mom earlier if her daily reminders could be done later, because i was advance studying, and boyyyyyyy that set her off, she was so pissed off, saying i was disrespectful, a know it all, and a performative person, well she didn't say those things specifically but that was she meant anyways... I tried to explain my side, how i really wanted to study, but no, she really wanted to be the victim, she wanted me to be on the wrong. She started shouting things like i'll finally get what i wanted, to get out of this house, this place, this town, to be free, to not be bossed around, well yeah that's what i want, what i really want, because this town, this family has been draining the life out of me, I am more than to be surronded with people like them, to be surronded by gossip, narrssism, hate, selfishness, hypocrisy, the close mindedness, the judgement, I MEAN WHO WOULD WANT TO BE SURRONDED WITH ALL OF THOSE?!?! I DO REALLY WANT TO GO! IN FACT I WANNA GO NOW! I WANT TO BE FREE, AND TO EXPRESS MYSELF, AND MEET PEOPLE WHO LIKE ME FOR WHO I AM AND WOULD RESPECT ME.