Onward, alone in this big city i am

Hello Noone

I am in a new city. In a different country. I barely speak the language and I cant meet people cause of the pandemic. I dont know how ti cooenct to my flatmates. Most of the time we are all in our rooms and nothing happens. these are supposed to bethe most interesting years of my live  but all i want is to get back to earlier times. I had a body without issues every other day back then, before the accident. I had school and saw all of my friends every day and i learned about new and diverse topics every day. Now it is just work, just one topic. I need to compensate for that with doing diffenerent stuff in my free time. But i dont have the energy. I went to reddit. I found a very old thread with people with devastating secrets or experiences in their past. So many interesting, shocking, thought provoking stories, and in the end... all of them are just living with that. trying to function. It makes me proud on the one hand. Proud of all those struggles that are won by an endless, unknown crowd. And at the same time it makes me feel like the strugrgles I live through are too small. They should not keep me down like that. And still on some days they do.  I dont like the way that it is a biological sideeffect of our survival that we cant have prolonged happiness. That there is this cycle of waking up, feeling a bit like shit, then feeling better on some days, maybe even extatic only to inevitably fall down and back to being shit. What on earth are you  supposed to do with that? Have you any idea or strategy? Please, Dr. Noone: tell me.