Hip hop scene is really cool

I feel myself as a social person in general. But to be fair, i am not really good at social relations. I mean i try a lot, but i'm literally just not good sometimes. I have a lot of friends and all, but i percieve sometimes that i just don't really "get it".

I grew up into hip hop, there was this guy, he lived in front of my house when i was little, and he was the brother of a friend of mine, and he was into hip hop since like early 2000's (he's older than me). And when i was like 12 i started doing breakdance with him.

So he introduced me to hip hop; from there i started doing breakdance, doing freestyle in my city, and got to know a lot of cool people. Then when i reached like 17-18-19 years, i started to slowly shift first toward punk music, and then into other genres, and i grew tired of listening to rap, and hanging out with the hip hop scene, for a few reasons

1) rap was becoming only trap, talking bad about women, drugs... all stuff i really don't care about and i don't like it actually, so listening to "this, that b**ch" was just something i didn't like doing

2) i didn't like hanging out with people that used drugs, because i felt they were just "too burnt out" to be taken seriously. I mean, i am fine with people doing it, i don't care, it just bothered me when people were literally just doing it too much, so much that they really are just too burnt to have a reasonable talk with you

But now, after about 3/4 years, a lot of stuff changed in my life, and i am reconnecting with that, hip hop culture, rap, the new scene (which is in part made of the same people i knew when i was growing up), etc.

And i realized what made me stop, would make me stop also today, because that was not really the hip hop i grew up with, and not really the culture i feel i am part of. Instead now i have reconnected with old friends, i am going to the events, and i feel again that thing that made me get into it in the first place. I feel like it's a real culture to me, i feel like those people are like me in a deeper sense. They're not literally like me, we are all very different, but i feel a sense of "belonging" to this thing.

But i also rediscovered something i forgot and probably didn't really apreciate when i was more little, because i had less experiences in life. But something i really appreciate now is that in this culture, people actually like you, just because you're there, just because you're participating, you're "propsing".

I talked to a guy one day. I just got to know him, i told him my name, and that's it. He was super friendly (like almost everybody), and now when he sees me he says hi, stops to talk, shares a cigarettes. Even tho we're basically strangers. This is what i am really talking about, this is the feeling of belonging. We don't really have nothing between each other, we are not really friends either. But we both feel we are in this together, and because of this, we appreciate each other and respect each other, if needed also help each other.

I am really happy i came back to what feels to me like a home.