2025 was low key fire guys

no proofreading fuck it we ball #NOTsorry4typos

OMG hello party people. I recently remembered that this site exists and decided to login for the #memories. I had made a post about my hopes and expectations for 2025 and let’s just freaking say, it was fire. Did i reach the potential i had hoped for? not exactly. I didn’t get a job and i didn’t move out of my house buttttt i did start dorming at my school so a win is a win. I finished my freshman year of college and the experience was one i needed. but wait lets start with the end of senior year of high school.

okokok so i have my main cheeses, my friends who i accumulated all through out high school and i’m still friends with them to this day. a few fell off but they were genuinely creeps and had crazy ass developments last minute. like oh my god bruh ive known you for three+ years but yeah, throw away your entire friend group who is two years younger than you. right right… anyway i hashtag graduated ayyyyyy. my real ones stayed close by and we are closer than ever.

i started college for what i set out for which is metal work and jewelry design AYYYY. dorming in theory is wonderful if you like your roommate and she doesn’t smell but whateverrrr, that year was genuinely for the plot. first semester i lived that delinquent life

All during first semester I…

- wasted time on another mid ass guy

- had my first kiss 

- basically lived in the lounges bc my room smelled so bad

- hey.. may or may not have become reliant on substances haha. crazy how you can go from never doing them to only doing them within a few months 

- failed a class for the first time ever in my life

- went on academic probation

so despite all that crazy shit i went through, i think id rather say i lost my marbles having too much fun and not enough self control than losing my mind from being isolated as home by my parents. 

anyway, WOOF what a rough start to college. but lesson learned blahhh blah blah. atp its 2026. Second semester was genuinely the lock in of the century for me. I got my grades up, tried harder in school, was more social, sold jewelry, went to a SINGLE party and rarely drank/smoked. Second semester showed me who were friends that were gonna stick by (college friends, my high school friends are still peak so i didn’t have to rlly think about that). one girl specifically was crazy sauce but she genuinely just needed a break from people. i hope she is doing well despite how shitty she left things off. 

whatever, my main thing rn is i finally have come to terms with myself. ive always been very close minded with my own identity for whatever reason. its mind blowing considering i have a decently open minded family, specifically immediate, and ofc my friends are wonderful. I don’t care what people around me identify as but once it comes to my own identity, idk it just feels like i’m gross and they should lock me up LMFAOO. this was actually around finals week leading into christmas break. the substance abuse genuinely started to fuck my brain up. i got too used to the high of not having to deal with my problems. coming down from that high made my problems feel so much worse and suppressing them got harder and harder. I had a talk with my best friend where i admitted i had a problem. we had a falling out with a friend going into our senior year of high school who let substances take over him. that friend is doing better now and i talk to him every once in a while. the point is, i felt like i owed it to my best friend to tell him i was struggling but i had every intention of getting better. one thing led (lead?) to another and i came out to him as trans. this was only something i had told people at college about bc i felt like i had less to lose with people i don’t know too well. its so different though with your best friend since day one of high school. it was horrifying and i genuinely felt sick letting those words come out of my mouth. 

I have another blog post where i talk about being trans and not really wanting to dive too deep into the idea. i somewhat feel the same way but i’m definitely more open and accepting of myself compared to almost two years ago. i was convinced the only way you can be trans if you still conform to the binary. Ive guess i’ve technically always been in the trans umbrella since ive identified as nonbinary starting in 2019. it didn’t click until very recently that i could be trans masc but still be comfortable with femininity. there’s a lot that goes into my identity that i’m not 100% sure of. i understand my vibe and what i’m going for so for now, that’s all that matters.

yap yap yap basically my year was fire and 2026 so far is awesome sauce. my roommate is my friend teehee. we’re gonna have so much fun together. every night will be like a sleepover.

baiiiii

- i