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Everyone I know has told me junior year is the worst and you're gonna hate it. I felt very nervous and told myself that I would just do honors or dual credit in everything so I could still focus on studying for the SAT and swim. And soon I'll age out of scouts so I have weekend and Mondays to study and maybe still have time to see friends and my bf. But my parents decided to sign me up for a NASA program that I AM NOT EVEN INTERESTED IN that I will have to set aside 3-5 hours on weekends to work on reports!!! And my mother put me in AP PHYSICS!! AND!! they want me to be a scout assistant after I age out. OMFG I HATE SCOUTS SO MUCH. It is such a waste of time for me. The other kids don't wanna be there either so they just goof off and nothing gets done and then we have to stay late to do what was planned. Btw I have never done a honors or AP class.
Plus my mom wants me to study for the SAT and ACT this fall, and she wants me to test out of pre-calculus.
I hate studying, specifically at my house. I hate is so fucking much. It is so loud here and I'm already so tired from school, my room and house is usually messy which distracts me, my body doesn't want to sit down again after sitting for 8 hours. I don't want to look at a screen for another 4 hours after school just to catch up on homework. I want to workout, clean my room, get ready for the next day, call my bf, and relax.
They don't listen to me when I tell them why I feel overwhelmed. When I told them that I was scared I would start cutting again they looked as if it was something getting in the way of their plans and that I was being difficult. I've had panic attacks and urges to cut for the past few weeks just thinking about the next school year. So I definitely will cut myself next school year and I'm gonna cry a lot too. That's all I can say. I'm going to be so unhappy junior year. And it's all my fault. If I did my work like I was supposed to in 9th and 10th grade I would be graduating on time and wouldn't have this big stress load on me.
Wish me luck, I hope I can come back to this post and say it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be
Comments
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Robiraptor
I'm also nearing my junior year and I also live in a noisy house. I am not certain as to whether my mechanism to isolate this out is bad or a red flag, but it works pretty well for me.
What I like to do is that I find a piece of media I like and almost forcefully immerse myself into it. This media needs two things. One: Loads and loads of lore rabbit holes to reasearch about the lore. Even better if there's a lot of uresolved loose ends, because I can think of theories as to why or fill in plot holes when I don't have the opportunity to pull out my phone or simply want to think about it. And two: It needs to have music. That way I can plug in my headphones on max sound to filter out reality with the reality in my head
Mary Ann
and best of luck with your junior year. and please dont listen to others. its all just fearmongering and they are missing out on telling u about all the totally awesome stuff and those cool experiences when you take one new challenges and learn so many new cool things!!!
Mary Ann
omg this sounds so stressful man :( maybe if u pair up a boring task with something fun, it might help..? like putting on cool lofi music when working on homeworks or assignments or something.
and I know this might sound cliche or repetitive but please dont cut yourself. your body is your home so dont be harsh on it.