blabbing

This entire post is kind of just a bunch of different thoughts from different days jumbled into one. Sorry if it's confusing. I haven’t just sat down and wrote my thoughts in a while. I hate thinking. I also hate feeling. And those two usually lead to the other. 

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Something just hurts. It’s just like constant disappointment or sadness and I can feel it even when I’m not fully aware of it. Idk if that makes sense. It’s just there without reason. Like all of the time. It’s not emptiness or lonesome because I’m very content with the quantity and quality of people in my life. I like sleeping alone.

When people know things about you they love to use it against you. Which is why I choose not to share. The only downside; they’ll think you’re extremely shallow (and find a way to use that against you too). Better just keep to yourself. 

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There’s some people who I wouldn’t care if they died. I’m not saying I WANT them to. I genuinely just would not care. It wouldn’t affect me. Though there’s others that I think would make me feel a sense of relief. Like if they no longer exist, then neither does everything they put me through. It sounds fucked up and it definitely is but maybe im just selfish like that.

My opinions have changed a lot since my last couple posts which is why I took them down. I don’t care if he’s seeing other people. I don’t care if my ex’s girlfriend is still looking at my posts. Speaking of, he asked me to delete my posts about him which is the only reason I haven’t. It’s still fuck you, Reda <3 

oh and fuck Miguel too. I won’t get into that one. 

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I regret to inform you all that I’ve fallen victim to the love island propaganda and here are my thoughts; this shit is gross and everybody in the villa is gross and everybody who likes watching it is gross. This shit reminds me how scary it is to be in a relationship or situationship or whatevership they're all embarrassing as hell.

Making me look stupid as hell cutting off guys while ur out here following a new bitch every night and being very obvious about your attraction toward my friends. u know what if u wanna be a fucking freak loser then go do all that. 

A man will always be willing to hurt your feelings if it means getting what he wants.

And then you have the audacity to like something I posted and reply to it with the most disrespectful, lustful shit I’ve ever seen in my life. You are so out of touch it’s pitiful, like I'm heartbroken that you’re so painfully unaware. Get fucked.