What’s wrong with me

Why can’t I just find someone to love me? I put my all into a man, who comes around and makes me feel things. then just drops me like yesterdays trash and comes around again weeks or months later. Yet I let him in all over again. This has been goin on for 5 years now almost and yet I still let this cycle happen again cause no one else wants me. every time it happens I feel unworthy, unwanted, flawed, too much to handle. I mean I know I have a mouth, talk shit, I don’t put up with too much and hell on wheels at times. when I talk shit, bicker or anything like that it means I care, I’m hurt and I need to speak up. when u get silence and i don’t say anything is when I give up. I don’t care any more and when I don’t care is when I’m over it, and done n most people don’t understand that about me, and it pushes them away. maybe I’m not ment to be loved by anyone at all…..