meeting you in a heatwave makes me wonder if you were ever real

i can't ever open my mouth to complain because i always worry about speaking too soon. it could always be worse. you know. i didn't worry about that yesterday when i wrote all about the shit weather and it was a dreadfully made mistake because i really did speak too soon. i worked all morning and afternoon and i'm not sure if my head was all there or if it melted and i was imagining everything. there was a lot of breaks that i spent looking at the ground and there were a lot of clovers but i couldn't find a four leaf one anywhere. i never really found one before, i found this one with three normal leaves and one tiny skinny one a long time ago and i considered it close enough back then. i named it four-leaf clover and would go to it every time i made a wish to get some luck. i kept it in a box and i have no idea where that box went and i haven't felt as lucky since. only now i can look back and say that it wasn't an actual four-leaf clover just to make myself feel better but really i don't know what qualifies as a real four-leaf clover. i don't think any of my wishes ever came true but i still kind of miss having it. at some point during the day i took a nap and had a dream that i found a bunch of four-leaf clovers but each time i would try to grab one it would turn into pappus and fly away. it happened a bunch and felt really damn redundant. anyway at some point on one of our breaks we all got popsicles. it was the highlight of the day, but the heat would've made me forget all about it if some of the melted stickiness didn't stain a part of my jeans. i think mine was like a pink or purple colour. 

nicely enough i didn't throw up today. xoxoLia