The girl i liked in 8th grade

Having a crush on a girl with internalized homophobia is the fucking worst. Imagine watching a sapphic movie with someone and then they tell you that it's disgusting, when it was their idea to watch it in the first place.

LIKE WHAT????

Anyways we would also always flirt as a joke tbh she did that with everyone but i was like the only one who didn't mind it and would act the same way so it kinda evolved into a joke between us. Our friends would jokingly ship us too but omg that shit hurts when it's with someone who you know that you could never be with.

Soooo i want to talk about my thoughts about her now. I have honestly always thought that she was a lesbian in denial like i know that someone's sexuality is none of my business but she WAS fruity asf and anyone with even the weakest gaydar could sense it. I wish she could get over her religious guilt and homophobia, not because i wanted to be with her or smth (i got over her in a few months anyway and we stayed friends after), i just wanted her to be able to embrace her true self because i have struggled with the same thing and i know how much it hurts.

I could yap about this for hours but for now i just wanted to let some of my thoughts out tysm if you read it <3