We are all gonna LIVE bruj. July 14th.

I used to not like being cold, but it's rather pleasant now that I think on it. I always felt at peace when it was just a little bit chilly. It felt satisfying, and freeing almost. No matter how bitter cold winds were, I never really turned away or covered myself. This is because I'm a fucking dipshit, but I digress. Sometimes I toss away my blanket, and turn the air conditioner on max just to feel something like that. I shower in cold water every now and again. Not freezing water like those dip shits online would tell you to do however, I'm not an idiot. I kinda associate a delightful chill with being happy, whether I knew it or not bruh. God I'm fucking sick rn bruh, my little sister did this. Her dumbass went to the fair, and picked ts up. Passed it onto my mother, who then passed it onto me.

Now that I think about it, I wanted to go to the fair too. But I was asleep around the time my mom asked me if I wanted to go. Real tragic. One time, I had went alone. It rained, and it was so cold. My a bunch of other dip shits at the fair didn't leave, we just kept getting on rides. I always liked rain, it was peaceful when it rained hard out. Kind of miss some time ago when it was just raining constantly for days lol. It was rather nice all things considered.

Since I'm talking about things being nice, my friend I call Faust is a real nice person. I remember when I told her of when I graduated. She said she was proud of me, and I felt really happy then. I know I'm kind of a footnote in her life. Yet she holds a place in my heart, as do all others I know. Though I may not have all of them, or any at all at my side when I expire. I will always have them, in my heart. Saying this like I'm gonna die soon, who knows maybe I am. Maybe me being sick right now only serves of omen of death all around, and to stand as trial for me and those that would be called my fellows. Auguries hold deep meaning with my people, dreams being a key one, and the unconscious mind being another. All folk subconsciously know the future. Carl Jung. "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." I think I got that off of a blog on here somewhere. Though I don't think the meaning I'm using for is even the right one, who cares. I'm literally THE smartest person EVER.

This blog may be sounding edgy or something but fuck you it's my blog I get to be as edgy as I want.

I often feel jealous when my friends talk about their other friends. I am always seething with jealousy when I see them talk about them, or post a story about them. I know it's kinda weird, but I sometimes want them all to myself, and for them to look at no other. I'm just a guy they know, and talk to sometimes. We play games, and I speak to them when they want to speak. I'm noticing that my friends are talking to me more often, and speaking to me first thing. Maybe that it's summer, they have more freetime. Likely.

Speaking of freetime, I'm probably just gonna spend the day in bed today. I'm sick, and can't do what I normally would do. There's a deadly ass heatwave outside, but I have a good working air conditioner in my room. Makes it cold no matter how hot it is. Can you believe it's old and slightly damaged? Bought it off my great aunt for 100$, gave me a discount because it was my birthday lol. I'm too sick right now to do much of anything.maybei I could read my book, and take care of these stupid little shit birds I now I have in my possession. The little bastards.

I still wish I got a cat instead of these birds, but now that I have them in my room, in my possession. I feel a little less aggressive to them. My brother says I need to not scare or frighten them at all. But they're scaredy cat prey animals. They're gonna get scared, it's all about showing them they can trust you. It's not about never stepping on toes man. Life is never done right without a little hardship. Well who knows maybe someone is out there living a decent and fulfilling life without having to work or suffer. 

I wish I were rich, we could hire butler's and maids to do shit for us. And live in a big manor. I always wanted to live in a manor. Imagine telling someone you live in a manor, tuff ass shit. I want to be wealthy, not rich. My family owns land (y'know, cause we are native and shit), but we need lawyers to get to it. That particular Rez says so anyway. Maybe in some years we'll be wealthy, once my father is done and back home. We can sue some places and win millions. There's already huge scandal and lies about. It'll be easy, or so my mother has me thinking. Patience. I am willing to wait, forever and even longer. If it all means something, then I'm more than willing to wait for the end of eternity.

God speaking of land, this one Rez built the keesh, basically a god send of a place. And the Rez I live in built apartments in the middle of town. It's kinda crazy. My mom says that when we get that land, she's just gonna call up investors and say "wanna make money off of me for cheap" and just charge them and let them build shit lol. Idk how any of it works, and I'm not betting much on any of it working out either. But I do enjoy the thought of money, lots and lots of money without even needing to work. Maybe then I'll be fulfilled lol. Just rich like a greedy white person lol.

Shit, if I wanted real fulfillment. It'd probably come from my friends or something. Maybe not. I never needed anyone to tell me who or what I am to know who or what I am. Never will, never have. Though some may call me self centered and an asshole. And even a bastard who knows nothing. I'm certain about this, doesn't matter if I'm wrong. If I happen to be right, then I am. If I'm not, it wouldn't matter to me. Most people that are assholes roll with this mindset. I am one of them lol, though I've been told I'm rather nice and optimistic. Don't know what they mean by that. God this one time my mom said I try to create positivity, fuck do you mean by that? Objectively speaking, I'm by all means being honest, no?

My mother is kind of evil, she is a spiritual woman, and a strong one at that. Powerscaling wise, she's like nanami in jjk. Not really top of verse, but weaklings get slaughtered. Like haruta, that sneaking bum. Just mangled as soon as someone found him lol. In native culture, this is important. You WHITE people wouldn't get it. God it's kinda crazy how much the white man tried to fucking exterminate natives, only to end up deadly larping as natives and swearing that they're some 16th or some lesser amount native. They do lots to try to be as spiritual as natives too. It's crazy. Everytime I point it out to my friends they just laugh lol. It's funny I guess.

Anyways this would be the end of the blog, it's gone on long enough. What do you call an alligator with a GPS? A navi-gator.