#annoying

okay, so, there's a couple dudes who ive had weird situations with.

1. so, this random guy followed me on instagram and i followed him back and he started messaging me and stuff, and at first i thought he was just being friendly and wanting to get to know me since he's the same age or whatever. but then, he started acting kinda weird. or like, idk maybe to some people it's not that weird but for me personally it was making me feel kind of uncomfortable. like, he would be like "goodnighttt" with heart emojis which made me uncomfortable because those were the types of messages i got when i had a talking stage back in april and im just not looking for anything rn. 

but i didn't want to assume, so i kept talking to him fully intending nothing more than friends. but he still just kept saying things that made me feel weird like, i was lore dropping about the guy i was talking to (im such an oversharer online oh my goodness) and he was all like "id never do that to you" and like "i promise im not a crazy guy" and at some point he was literally trying to get nudes and i TOLD HIM that i wasn't looking for anything. the whole thing was just making me uncomfortable and annoyed so i just ended up blocking him. i guess a bit of communication could've gone a long way but i didn't see it as a big deal since i literally only was speaking to him for three days.

2. this other guy who i've been mutuals with since like january that i've had conversations every now and then started acting weird too. like, i've told him MULTIPLE times just in regular conversation that i wasn't looking for love because im working on myself and id be uncomfortable if anyone tried anything. then, he told me about how someone asked him to be friends with benefits, and he asked me for my opinion about friends with benefits.

i told him that for me personally it'd be weird for me to do friends with benefits for someone because im someone who values actual real commitment when it comes to romantic relationships and i would be uncomfortable doing friends with benefits with anyone.

THEN this dude literally asks me later if i could do friends with benefits with him??

after i've stated that im not looking for anything MULTIPLE TIMES and after stating that i would be UNCOMFORTABLE with friends with benefits. 

i don't know it just bothers me so much that when i try to be friendly to guys they just end up making things weird in the end and it just bothers me. i guess i should just start only interacting with women and gay guys unless i actually want love with someone?? idk??

idk maybe im the problem but it's like when i've stated that im not looking for anything multiple times it just feels wrong to act like we're something/ask to be something despite my discomfort. 

i've just been bothered by this lately