First Blog (love)

Hey so uh this is my first time here talking..

i think i really need it so anyone who has an opinion on this should tell me whatever okay?? xp

so basially i wanna talk abt love. im a lil loverboy i would say (even if it sounds cringe) but basically i really need someone in my life to talk to have contact a lil physical touch and all that but the thing is whenever i find smth it has to dissapear cuz hear me out ive got a friend which i was close for a bit even had like my arm around her while we played smth tgt and then she obv thought i wanted smth from her and obv i thought hell yea but then she found out well not found out but we alr talked on a topic abt my bestfriend:

i was like good with my hg and she was being flirty so i asked her what if we get evrn closer like being together n stuff but she refused so i said alr well thats really good youre saying that but i dont want us to be flirty then but still friends yk? and she als got that and we agreed on it but then the other girl iw as close with suddenly stopped and got really REALLY distant that she still to this day ghosts me.

look guys im not here to tell you my life story but at least one i can share if yall wanna hear more tell me i love to share much abt me

basically i dont get it why everyone can love but me my friends everyone has someone they can look in the eyes and know they want you but me? i never do i never am allowed to. i thought i was cool i do so much!! i mean i got some style and play instruments even ina band also ride a bike im 18 and got a car and motorcycle so what do i need more for a girl to like me? am i ugly is it my looks or is it really whats inside me? why cant i be the one having love..