damn"

I don't trust my diary so I'll be writing here from now on. 

12/07/26 12:20

what is happening to me is they take the shape of people I know and they try to torture me

I sometimes fall from reality and get reincarnated in a pshyciatric office where I start of with "I dream of this every day" and the second I say that I realize I am in a dream again. this cycle never breaks and I had enough of this.

In one of my nightmares I wake up in a patient bed, chained to the corners, normaly I'd say it's just a bad dream where you see a monster and you can't move, no, I can move, I can feel. a lady in a Nurse outfit greets me - with no face yet her voice just Apears out of every direction of the room - "we are now going to start the nerve surgery" without questiong the "we" I start trying to escape but every time I move my limbs the cuffs get tighter a second later I realize the thing holding me down was not the cuff's chain but the increasing thightness of the cuffs instead. she starts to inject some red fluid in to varius nerve vessels in my body and I felt every second of it. I finaly woke up when she put the needle in my throat (no she put it in the blood vessel thats nezt to my throat) I wake up holding throat waiting for the pain to fade away 5 seconds later it does and I go back the sleep in mere seconds.

 I don't like talking about this while I am with my friends but my mouth just talks. I hate myself for it. I won't be drinking them for a long while.