Dumb thoughts I have while reading Jeff the Killer (2011)

- The boy telling the story of his attack in the beginning, after waking up to find a window he'd closed before he went to sleep wide open, just closes it and goes back to sleep?
- Jeff hid behind the curtains??? And somehow was not spotted????
- It's said that the police arrived in the "parking lot" when they were called on the boy Jeff attacked in the beginning of the story. However, in the same paragraph it's said that they're in a house. I'm sure there are explanations for this it's just really funny to me
- Dad gets a promotion so of course they immediately decide to move into a fancy neighborhood.
- The most realistic part of this is Jeff, a 13 year old boy, insisting multiple times that he's "too old" to go to a children's birthday party
- Jeff sits down to eat breakfast but he and Liu walk to the bus stop still eating it?? This could maybe imply that they're late (anime protagonist running to school with toast in their mouth or whatever) but there's a whole scene that takes place between them getting to the bus stop and the bus arriving??
- I never noticed how many semicolons this author uses. I don't think any of them are used correctly.
- Randy talks like a gang leader from an 80s movie and I love him for that. Reminder that Randy is canonically 12 years old.
- Randy says "There's a bus fare" and Liu immediately wants to punch him
- Liu STANDS UP?? and they PULL A KNIFE ON HIM???
- Do middle schoolers usually have wallets
- I love the nondescript "feeling" Jeff gets to explain the crazy stuff he does throughout this story. No guys you don't understand he got a weird feeling and that's why he can stop someone's heart by punching them in the chest you just don't get it
- Genuinely this reminds me of a slightly edgier version of 12-year-old me's writing and that makes it even funnier to me
- Jeff punches Troy in the stomach so hard he throws up. Oh my god.
- "They saw the bus coming and knew they'd be blamed for the whole thing." Yeah 'cause you...kinda DID do the whole thing.
- Liu is not NEARLY concerned enough. This is NOT just Jeff "beating up a few kids" he broke someone's wrist dude
- I like how one paragraph has 4 time jumps.
- The POLICE OFFICER saying "looks like a year in Juvy" is SO funny. Jeff gets NO trial. Straight to Juvy with you young man
- Middle schooler stands in his own home with a knife, police immediately point guns at him.
- "Jeff please, you don't have to lie. We know it's Liu, you can stop." Jeff's mom actually makes me kinda mad. This woman does NOT care about Liu AT ALL.
- It's not clear what day it is that Liu gets arrested, but we can assume it's been less than a week when Jeff's mom is all happy and excited because it's time for the children's birthday party!! Hooray!!!
- "Now Jeff, we may be over-dressed, but this is how you go if you want to make an impression." No Margaret this is how you make your neighbors think you're insane
- Jeff is told to wear something fancier and he goes and puts on a hoodie. Ily Jeff
- I cannot begin to explain how awful Billy's birthday party has gotta be. All the adults are ignoring you and hanging out inside drinking alcohol and wearing fancy clothes  while you just...play outside. Poor Billy dude I think he's the real victim of this story
- The author is unnecessarily rude describing Troy's appearance/weight ("This kid looked like he hadn't exercised since he was crawling.") and yet Troy has no trouble skateboarding over a fence. Maybe I'm not super well-versed in skateboarding but I think that's already a pretty difficult thing to do.
- They acknowledge the bruised nose but not the broken wrist. I think one of those is a little more important in a fight scene
- "Oh no, I don't go for even, I go for winning. You may have kicked our asses that one day, but not today." Just remember a 12 year old boy is saying this.
- Where did they get guns
- "Something inside Jeff snaps. His psyche is destroyed, all rational thinking is gone, all he can do, is kill."
- Jeff you can't keep punching people in the chest so hard that their heart stops it's not nice
- THING OF BLEACH!! THING OF BLEACH!!! THING OF BLEACH!!!!!!
- Actually crazy to me that Randy is the "main villain" of the three but Keith is the one to light Jeff on fire.
- Not how fire or bleach work btw please do not take science lessons from Jeff the Killer (2011)
- I could be entirely wrong but I don't think they put casts on your face. I'm pretty sure the word you're looking for is bandages. But I might be wrong.
- Not a legal expert but I don't think it's that easy to release someone from a prison sentence
- Margaret you're not a toddler don't SCREAM the second you see your son's face after he miraculously survived being set on fire. Besides he literally has no scarring whatsoever this is actually best case scenario
- I'm genuinely not going into why everything they say about his appearance makes literally no sense
- Thinking about how I took Liu saying "It's not that bad" and ran with it in my AU and made him the sweetest kid alive
- "What caused this? Well, you may recall that when Jeff was fighting Randy something in his mind, his sanity, snapped. Now he was left as a crazy killing machine, that is, his parents didn't know."
- I don't think the hospital would clean and patch up the clothes you were burned in.
- Taking the scene where his mom is like "What are you doing???" as a reference to Little Red Riding Hood
- Mother walks in on her son mutilating himself and immediately tells her husband to get the gun
- Jeff isn't trying to kill Liu he's just concerned about his sleep  schedule

Anyway I have read this story like 20 times and it's almost always been under the guise of "This is research for my rewrite!!" even though I've barely worked on the rewrite. Dang.
Don't take anything mean I say about this story too seriously I genuinely love Jeff the Killer (2011) it was the first Creepypasta I ever read and will always hold a special place in my heart. I just like making fun of stuff sometimes
If anyone actually reads all of this I'll be a little surprised I think. 
Also I'm not proofreading this if there are any mistakes or stupid things I say ignore them??? or something??????? Idk