Demolition dreams and rainy days

it's 2 am and the rain is hitting my window. i have my headphones turned up so loud my ears are throbbing, but it’s the only way to block out the noise of this house. middle school is becoming an absolute joke. i am so sick of walking down the hallways and seeing the exact same clones every single day. everyone is trying so hard to fit into these neat little boxes, and the second you wear too much eyeliner or an oversized band tee, they look at you like you're a ghost. honestly? i'd rather be a ghost than a fake nice clone. i just finished watching thirteen (2003) for the third time this week. that movie is an actual punch in the gut. tracy’s spiral is so real it hurts to watch, but it’s the only thing that feels authentic right now. everything else on television feels shallow and plastic. if you haven't listened to mcr's bullets album from start to finish in a completely pitch-black room, you don't know what real music is. gerard’s raw screams on that album are the only thing that makes sense to me when my brain won't shut up. "vampires will never hurt you" has been on loop for three days straight. to the fake friends who stopped texting me back: don't look at my page, don't check my top 8, and don't try to play nice when you see me on monday. i'm done dealing with betrayals. leave a comment if you actually get it. otherwise, click the X. "and as the day fades into night, nothing's left for us to lose..."