shitty asexual flags and blogging and onions

i don't want to be that kind of person who just keeps crying about their sad miserable life but i am that person so fuck me i guess. metaphorically btw, i'm asexual. have i specified that before? i think Aria has. whatever. i hate the new "redesigned" asexual flag, it looks so ass oh my god. why the FUCK is there yellow in my beloved purple!??!?! the purplle white gray and black color scheme is iconic and i will not be using or claiming this newer flag. fuck you, whoever made it.

aside from the fuckass shitass color oh my god i am swearing a lot today scheme, the new meaning of the flag actively EXCLUDES sex-repulsed asexuals. which is like. the whole fucking point of asexuality??!??!??? well it's not actually, and yeah asexuality is a spectrum, but tell me why in the ever loving fuck is the new flag excluding the hardiest asexuals while accomodating for allies TWICE???

honestly i don't even care, and being in India i'm pretty detatched from the queer community as a whole, but it still pisses me off. also wow this blog post was not supposed to be about the shitty new asexual flag but it just devolved haha

blogging like this where i'm manually typing everything into the text editor along with my HTML is honestly annoying. i used to blog on spacehey before, but i migrated over to neocities because. i don't know why anymore because i forgot, but i was pretty shit at coding and i wanted to get better and personalize things completely. i remember using someone's Nana layout and then spending six hours tweaking it (and by tweaking i mean changing the colors to see what did what and in the end, i only managed to make aesthetic changes to it :( but at the end of that, i had somewhat familiarized myself with the code. i considered that a win because my eyes got used to seeing CSS onscreen and actually started parsing a bit of it. point is, hand-coding is really fucking annoying, but it does feel a lot more rewarding knowing that every linebreak is intentional and mine. havinng to italicize or bold or underline words manually is a fucking pain tho.

i made a stylesheet for my blogs here, which i think is fucking amazing because no way am i manually Ctrl+C/Ctrl+V'ing 180 lines of code. 180 lines is nothing compared to the mess that is my homepage code, or even my about-me code (which is long because everyone insisted on having their own dedicated portion (and mise didn;t even fucking complete hers yet)) and WOAH DID YALL SEE THAT?!?!? PARANTHESES WITH ONION LAYERS ARE BACK!! oh my god i wish i used these in my e-mails, but i subconsciously have a very Aria-like persona when i am consciously aware of being percieved by someone. i just have so many onioning thoughts that i just cannot contain them, and every thought relies on the other to make full-sense of what i'm trying to say, and i made a fuckton of mistakes while blogging because the neocities text editor does not have an autocorrect for grammer. joy!

i want to write poetry with onioning lines of thought, but i'm worried that the reader will not get my point. i want to do visual poetry but then it's. it's a medium i've hated for so long that i don't know if i should be a part of it now that i don't hate it anymore. guilt is not something i feel too often and i hate feeling this way but there's no other way to feel about this topic. i recently was reading some of e. e. cummings' poetry, and its just. its fucking horrible? i don't get much of it, maybe that's why i think it's horrible, and out of the five i read, i only really liked one. i think that's okay, but i. i want to express myself but i have a problem with the style itself.

i'm also working on some essays, so there's that. i wrote 800 words about why AI fucking SUCKS, but it's a lot more formal and has a more of an educational than an artistic focus. i want to write more non-fiction essays because i saw somehwere that it helps you be a better poet? i got it off a youtube video, but i don't suppose there's any harm in trying.

i want to separate my blogs, these incoherent, unfinished onionings of thought from more coherent things like progress logs or essays or more structured paragraphs of hate for AI. i wish i could have tracked my greeft progress different, because there are roughly two months of me not recording ANYTHING i'd been doing, and i have to fill in the gaps for all of that but i'm worried it's going to be difficult. i don't want to "rewrite" events, even if these are minor and ultimately inconsequential for anyone but myself. i want to be true to myself. that said, i will start tracking my progress more efficiently.

05jul2026