toxic friends (tw: rough trash talking)

idfk why i have known so many toxic people. well, maybe it is because i used to be like really dumb socially, so i would hang out with whoever that came across my life and shared at least one interest /w no matter how of a bas person they were. last year i used to hang out with someone in my school hall that’s so, but so hated by everyone that is crazy (not defending, i don't like him too) and i didn't notice until like… august? it was rumored that he liked incest ships, and talking about that, i suspect he is sorta like a proshipper because of the use he gave to certain emojis like the rainbow or meat. otherwise, i'm not claiming he is one, so please don’t be alarmed by this. the thing with him is that every time you try to talk about any of yours problems he associates it with his own life, which doesn’t sound that bad until you realize that he revolves around that and doesn’t have the capacity to empathize with ur own life, fixating especially on his own issues and not listening to yours back. he also can’t stop with playing the victim about EVERYTHING, like he thinks he’s a little lamb being chased by a thousand wolves, to put an example.

he’s not the only toxic friend i've had, sadly. i remember being friends /w a guy that smelled like absolute shit and was so fricking manipulative. he dated with a friend who was pretty fckd up at the moment, but main part of the problem was indeed because of his histrionic attitude, this not including the fact that he didn’t really accept forms of emotional support coming from his friends or even partner. the most disgusting thing about his behavior were the s-word menaces. i don’t mean that s-word is the disgusting part about this, absolutely not, but i mean that constantly victimizing yourself using this action to gain attention while it’s something that thousands of families, friends, partners, teachers, among others, suffer from after a loss of a loved one.

honestly i am definitely not the person to forgive or be friends with someone known for toxic behaviors, but i've thought, more than once, about how certain traits, happenings and experiences have shaped those persons' mentalities and how did they live through them. i wish we could sometimes dive into the both conscious and unconscious minds of others when we wanted to, just to observe how they’re built mentally and why they have such behaviors, and maybe empathize with them more than we already do sometimes.

alright, too much gossiping and philosophical thinking 4 today. payu out!