summer depression

i'm not talking about the girl in red song, even though i like the song and it describes my feelings right now pretty well.

every summer i fell into depression. i always feel like in summer i should be happy and always going somewhere and doing something, but every summer i just end up holing up in my room doing nothing and before i even notice, summer ends. 

it's too hot to do anything, and when i'm sweating, i basically feel like ripping my skin off, i hate the sticky feeling of sweat in my skin that much. there's also bugs everywhere. don't get me wrong, i quite like bugs, i find them interesting, but i hate when they are crawling on me, trying to fly in every hole in my face and biting me. i can't even go to the forest without being bitten dozen of times if i don't use mosquito repellent that also feels sticky in my skin.

i don't really have friends either. i have some online friends who live far away and i can't really do anything with them because of that. it feels like in summer everyone is doing something with their friends, but i don't have them, so i don't even have that to get me out of the house sometimes. i don't have anything that could get me out of my bed and room to do something else than sleep.

in conclusion, i hate summer and summer depression. every morning i wake up and feel like i should do something, it's summer after all, it feels like everyone is doing something. but i just can't get myself to do anything but lay in my bed and sometimes be on my computer.

i'm just waiting for autumn. i love fall, and i always go out more in fall and spring than summer and winter. maybe then i can get myself to do something for once.