dairy entry #7

7/3/2026

10:33

i am PISSED !! i wrote a whole diary entry just to accidently reload the page and lose it all. i was trying to get to the tab my music was playing on. i guess i'll half-ass it this time.

yesterday was a lazy day. we were home most of the day until we decided to make an impulsive trip to the grocery store for bread, bagels and ice cream for floats. me and my fiancé have been crazy about ice cream floats as of late. it's our favorite sweet treat.

today we went to the la brea tar pits before it closes on the 6th for two years of renovations. hell, it kinda needs it. it was a bit disappointing due to how crowded it was. we were shoulder to shoulder with everyone in there. i swear some people don't know how to walk or be aware of their surroundings. it was also really small !! we saw the whole museum in about ten minutes. hopefully the renovations make it bigger.

we got home and took it easy for a bit before heading back out to go on a dinner date to the california pizza kitchen. it was so yummy, but our waitress was so odd. she really didn't seem to want to be there, and she made it seem like a drag to serve us. at one point she handed us more napkins and did it as she was walking (sliding it onto the table behind her) like it was some kind of drug deal. alright then.

after that we went to ross to return some clothes and shop a little at both ross and target. once we were done we drove home, rolled the windows down, listened to music and had a cigarette.

on a (kinda) different note, i felt very grateful for my fiancé tonight. more grateful and happy than usual. obviously i'm very happy with him. i always am, but tonight felt different. i remember looking over at him while we were in the car. "please" by nine inch nails was playing and he had a lit cigarette in his hand with his other on the wheel. i realized how sad i was before him. i had no life, no friends, no goals. i was a borderline alcoholic and i was abusing weed/constantly high. he came into my life and everything changed so fast. i started hrt, i'm in school, i have people that care about me, i stopped drinking and smoking cold turkey. i really thought that i'd be stuck in my old ways for the rest of my life. it's hard to look at old pictures of myself because it doesn't look like me anymore.

nathan, if you end up reading this (which you most likely will) i love you. i can't wait to marry you. to everyone else, sorry for typing so much lol. thanks for reading.

- alex