Thoughts as I lie here in bed on my back

At this very moment I am typing this on my phone in the app. I prefer to only ever use this site on pc, but sometimes I gotta type up something on my phone as I suddenly get thoughts with my pc already shut down lol. And I am not fully sober. Oops. Too much wine

I am currently listening to “Vampires Will Never Hurt You” by My Chemical Romance. I have string lights, a lava lamp, a salt rock lamp, and a neon sign on in my room. It is 11pm. It’s very cozy

Many thoughts in my head currently. I got a promotion at work on Monday. I am now properly full time and I am making a lot more money now cause I was only part time before. I feel like a real permanent employee. The money is very good.. at least to me. But my job still makes me feel depressed. It’s a very good position for being in fucking retail… but I hate retail. I have been in it since 2019. But I am now finally getting benefits. I feel slightly more important now, but one day I hope to get something more.. intelligent? Unsure of what word to use. Something a little less mindless, I guess. Now my job is a love-hate relationship rather than purely a hate relationship lmao

I have to get up super early. I should already be asleep but. Oh well lmao. Nothing like an overly strong brewed coffee in the morning won’t fix

Other thoughts: I wish I had my art spark back. I haven’t finished a full finished wonderful drawing in so long. Every time I get back home from work I run to YouTube to unwind until I’m tired. Or I play a game.. I like my art. It’s not terrible. But I wanna improve and I can only do that by.. PRACTICING 😭 and drawing. But I haven’t done anything serious in months. Maybe one day it’ll come back

More thoughts: one of my mom’s friends is a certified vet tech now. That’s fucking awesome. She is in her 40s and still decided to accomplish something wonderful. I am 26. I sometimes still feel like I am getting older 😭 and I work in retail.. so it’s not too late to pursue dreams that have been crushed by things.. outside of my control or not. I wonder if I can do something like that. I’d love to work with animals. Wildlife was my number one dream to work with.. (maybe she can help me get work lol)