i want to sleep for a few days

i've been feeling bad lately. maybe it's because my friend had committed suicide. but luckily, he woke up. he was in a coma for 5 months. i sobbed so hard, i mean who wouldn't? he was my first love. he loved me too but it never worked out. but that's not the point. he still can't walk properly. i can understand his pain. we can only talk on the phone sometimes. he had moved to another city a year ago. i get scared of him sometimes. he mentioned about wanting to kill his mother yesterday on the phone. he said that he can't get up, go to the kitchen and grab a knife to kill her. it creeps me out. is he serious? he's always been a bit absurd and violent but that would be extreme. it's almost like he had lost his mind completely. who wouldn't? his eyesight is also damaged. his right eye can't see, and he has to wear glasses for his left eye. i'm going to visit him a week later, but am i doing the right thing? maybe i shouldn't go. maybe he really is dangerous. i feel bad. i've been grieving him all the time while he had been in a coma but now, i only feel strange. do i not want to see him? am i only pitying him? i don't know. he had been so, so important for me. i loved him deeply. but i guess even that can change. i don't want him to feel alone but still, he had committed suicide once and now he's talking about murdering his own mother? it's not something that i can take anymore. i don't want him in my life. but still, i want him. i miss his old self. when he wasn't like this. why did everything turn out this way? can't i bring him back