My problem with love (don't enter if you don't like reading long texts)

Ok, there's a topic I'd like to talk about because it's something that's been bothering me to this day. The topic is people who revolve their entire lives around having a partner, and look, don't get me wrong, I don't care what anyone does; it's their life and they decide what to prioritize. But where I do get involved, or at least where I'm interested, is when these people want a relationship with me. I don't mean to sound rude, mainly because many of these people say and do things like this because of trauma and/or bad experiences, but it's exhausting when all they talk about is wanting a relationship. And okay, I understand, it must be nice to have someone by your side who loves you and all that, however, revolving your whole life around that isn't great, at least not for me. It's annoying when people talk about it all the time, especially if the person they want a relationship with is me. I usually keep these people away because there was a time when I did give them a chance and was their partner, and I realized how little they knew me, especially how much everything revolves around them.They want 24/7 attention, they demand emotional support along with verbal and physical displays like hugs, kisses, sweet words, and things like that.

Let me clarify right now that I'm not criticizing people who want this; everyone has their own tastes and ideal relationships. The real problem is that they know I'm the complete opposite, and that I find it hard to change, or simply won't change, and they remain attached to an idealized version of me where I'm the way they want me to be.

And that brings me to another point: I absolutely hate it when someone idealizes me. I can't stand it because I'm human, I make mistakes, and I'm not the kind, cheerful, and loving person some people think I am. I also have ugly and uncomfortable parts; I won't say what they are because it's personal, but it's understood that I'm not 100% good and all that.

Now, I'm not someone who falls in love easily, and it's not because I'm overly strict or have excessively high standards or anything like that. In fact, I don't care about a person's looks or gender; I have no problem dating people taller or shorter than me, whether they're fat or thin, dark-skinned or light-skinned—it doesn't matter to me. The most important thing for me is the connection I have with that person, knowing that they see me for who I am and not just for some silly idea they have in their head.

I love being with someone who has their own interests, goals, and aspirations; those people attract me because I'm very curious and I like to see other people's worlds, and I want them to see mine. But for that, I need someone I feel safe with, someone I don't feel uncomfortable with, or who I don't end up hating having shared things about myself with. For that, I need time and patience. I have an avoidant attachment style. I know how bad it sounds and how stigmatized this attachment style is, but I can assure you that when it comes to a relationship I care about, I make the effort to improve. But obviously, I need space and time. To top it all off, I'm also part of the aroace umbrella, so you can imagine how incredibly difficult it is to feel romantic love and sexual attraction.

Getting back to the main point, I can't stand people who obsess over having a partner because some of them pretend to be something they're not to get someone, and personally, that doesn't work for me and it repels me. Also, they want to rush things and can't take no for an answer because then they jump to playing the victim, saying that I rejected them because they're ugly, which isn't the case. Like, it's too bad you were rejected for that reason, but don't assume that's why I rejected you, especially since I already gave you reasons why I'm not interested. Anyway, it's just an opinion. Honestly, I don't care what people do as long as it doesn't affect me (referring to this topic, of course). Okay, bye