I feel like shit.

My body for some fucking reason decided that "oh I guess we were supposed to like change while we grew" so it's been growing rapidly for the past month or so. Not even my height although I did went up a cm. But like my ribs broadened my torso elongated and my chest grew. Which sucks ass cuz as someone who's nonbinary I preferred them how they were. And now I have to think about saving up for surgeries. Yes. As in multiple. 1st is my chest obviously. But then there's also my nose which someone punched one time and it's been crooked ever since (when I have a cold I can't breathe out of one nostril) and also maybe possibly my back. I noticed it's moving to one side. Like I think it's because one side of my body has more growth. But it's freaking me out. My back hurts and my muscles are pulled tight on one side (the one it's leaning in) and I'm so fucking scared. If you're wondering where my mom is in the midst of this? Well she's literally giving me hell. She doesn't care about my concerns. Like actually. She constantly is condescending "well maybe we should send you to a hospital" and stuff. And anytime I mention any of this it's like I'm waging a war. And I'm so frustrated. Because it shouldn't be like this. Like it isn't like I'm being even mean to her or anything I'm just talking about my issues. Genuine concerns. Because if my back like develops scoliosis or whatever it's called when it's crooked on one side then I am completely cooked. Like it's not reversible with a brace. It can only be stopped with it. And worked slightly with physical therapy. I feel like it's already on one side more so then the other so it would be just great if I could stop it now. I'm already having trouble moving. Like I'm constantly leaning on one side and I am completely off balance. I feel dizzy and my back and everything that my body is feels like it's made of potty clay or something. Like it's so brittle it wobbles under its own weight. I feel like all this strain on my body is simply not good for me at all. It's so unfair. I should also metion with the spine thing it also feels like my ribs are weirdly titled too...like it's so complicated to explain but they're not symmetrical is my point. On my back especially they're weirdly placed. I'm having such bad depersonalization from this. Cuz like all this is causing me to think of my body as the pieces it consists of, instead of just simply "me". Like the ribs got put on me wrong and my shoulders are all weird and my spine is crooking, and my legs are out of place, my abdomen is too far. Hell, i don't even think I recognise my face anymore. I know that many teens when they change deal with these issues but mind you I had a very consistent appearance prior to this, which changed in only about A MONTH. And I have all these concerning issues I dunno what to do