We should break the taboo abt paraphilia by talking abt them more

We (parents, teachers, teens, ppl on the internet, therapists, in short: society) should talk more abt sex, especially fetishes/kinks/paraphilia. For starters, most ppl don't realise that fetishes, kinks and paraphilia are the same thing. The point where many ppl get confused is the fact that paraphilia and paraphilic disorders are not the same thing. Here is some Wikipedia: 

"There is no broad scientific consensus for definitive boundaries between what are considered "unconventional sexual interests", kinks, fetishes, and paraphilias.^[18][19] As such, these terms are often used loosely and interchangeably, especially in common parlance."

"A paraphilia is an uncommon, intense, and persistent sexual arousal or attraction to anything not sexual by nature, though preference is favored for specific designations.^[3][4][5] Paraphilia has also been defined as a sexual interest in anything other than a legally consenting human partner.^[6][7] Paraphilias are contrasted with normophilic ("normal") sexual interests,^[8][9] although the definition of what makes a sexual interest normal or atypical remains controversial."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilia

"Paraphilias are sexual interests in objects, situations, or individuals that are atypical. The American Psychiatric Association, in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Fifth Edition (DSM), draws a distinction between paraphilias (which it describes as atypical sexual interests) and paraphilic disorders (which additionally require the experience of distress, impairment in functioning, and/or the desire to act on them with a nonconsenting person).^[1][2] Some paraphilias have more than one term to describe them, and some terms overlap with others. Paraphilias without DSM codes listed come under DSM 302.9, "Paraphilia NOS (Not Otherwise Specified)"."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_paraphilias

So a paraphilia is simply a fetish/kink that can be controlled, and pretty much anything can be a paraphilia. A paraphilic disorder is where someone has a paraphilia that is so intense that it impacts their ability to function normally, or causes them significant mental issues, or where it harms other living creatures. The two most notable and well-known examples here are pedophilic disorder and zoophilic disorder. For example when someone is attracted to animals this is called zoophilia, however if they cannot control their sexual desires it would be a zoophilic disorder. Paraphilic disorders CAN be harmful for others, but they don't have to be, if someone is attracted to objects to the point it causes them significant distress it doesn't hurt anyone but themselves.

Depending on the severity of the paraphilic disorder ppl can often learn to control their desires with proper therapy. This is a very important point!

Many ppl with fetishes/kinks/paraphilia feel deeply disgusted and utterly grossed out abt it. I have one harmless but weird paraphilia, and it's literally the only thing that turns me on. I started becoming aware of that at around 7 y/o. I'm not comfortable saying what it is, but it's smth that everyone else considers a normal everyday thing, but for me it was sexual. For years I didn't even fully understand it, all I knew was that it turned me on. I thought there must be smth wrong with me. I got severely uncomfortable when ppl talked abt it as if it was the most normal thing ever, bc for me it wasn't. As I got older I started feeling more and more disgusted by myself, to the point I couldn't even masturbate for MONTHS bc the feeling of grossness was so overwhelming. I've cried abt it more than once. Only less than a year ago I finally started somewhat accepting it, and even now I still feel a little disgusted abt it. I've seen ppl on youtube with the same fetish saying similar things.

I'm convinced that many other ppl with paraphilic disorders experienced similar things. I've talked to 2 ppl with harmful paraphilic disorders on the internet and both of them said they felt horribly disgusted by themselves and one of them said he was in therapy to learn to control his desires (and it was working!) bc he didn't want to hurt others. I'm sadomasochistic but not in the sexual way, more in a romantic (and sometimes platonic) way, and surprisingly I've never felt any shame abt that. I've been in sadomasochistic internet spaces, and I've also seen ppl there who are sadomasochistic in a sexual way who feel disgusted abt it. So my theory is that this shame mostly occurs when the it has to do with sex. This would obvs be bc of the taboo around sex in pretty much every single (big) culture. Personally I blame religion but I don't wanna get into that whole ordeal rn. Basically this feeling/experience is VERY similar to internalised homophobia (coming from me, an omnisexual guy with a fetish).

If we start breaking the taboo by talking abt both sex and unconventional ways of having sex/experiencing attraction, BDSM, kinks/fetishes/paraphilia and paraphilic diorders I genuinely believe less ppl would feel so ashamed and disgusted abt it, and the ppl with paraphilic disorders would feel less ashamed to go to therapy for it, which would help both themselves AND the potential victims that a dangerous paraphilic disorder would cause.

Yesterday I was talking abt paraphilia with two of my good friends, and we tell each other A LOT, and we talked abt the fact that all 3 of us have a paraphilia and feel disgusted by it. However, we didn't tell each other what our paraphilias were, bc we just couldn't admit what it was to ANYONE, despite it being harmless. One of them said "some things we take to our grave ig" and that's exactly how I feel abt it as well.

Thank you for reading through all of this, this was a long blog post so I genuinely really appreciate it <3 I think this is very important topic, but sadly it's still very taboo, even in my sexual education classes we didn't talk abt paraphilia. But the more we talk abt it the more comfortable it will become to open up abt these kinda things!