Losing someone

Man i jus lost the person i cared abt the most and gave 2 shits abt. We met on ometv and exchanged discords for jojo yk, so she can watch and question me anything. 

Later on we got instas. We talked alot, turns out we gave 2 shits abt eachother, and well trusted eachother... we were like idk, 2 things that cant go separate, we also loved eachother alot.. we promised wed never leave, or anything until today she left. Why? 

Cuz she wants to be used, yes as in "i wanna take someone and make them use me as they like"... she was my life entire and i didnt want someone to ruin my life. But i did the right thing i let her go.. ik shes being used rn and it hurts me (yes sexually) that she wants to be treated like a dog.  I never rlly got to tell her how much i love and care abt her... so yea, idk rlly how to feel rn, i was always there for her when whatever happened, and now its all gone.

If anyone has like similar story or whateva let me know so i can get over it fast