Boring and lonely

I often feel lonely. It's not that I'm physically alone,  I just can't seem to form meaningful connections with people I've met after I turned 8. I obsess over people, learn everything about them and listen and try so hard, then something changes, they become distant, they leave. I always wonder what it is that leads to them leaving. I'm a great listener and love analyzing things others say, but why they leave is something I've never figured out. At this point it's clear that there's something wrong with me, but I don't know what it is.

Am I dull, or too much? My head's completely empty. I forget everything about myself, but remember everything about others. Maybe I seem boring because I never have anything to say. I constantly reflect and ponder over everything, but still, I am silent. I am sad. I am solitary. Melancholy. That's a pretty great word. Maybe I'm just boring? Idk.

I wish I'd meet someone who wants me in the same way that I want them. I sound ungrateful and annoying. But I want to be yearned for. Not in a romantic way either, just like... I wish I'd have a friend that isn't forced to like me, but stays because they do. I wish I'd meet someone who enjoys the fact that I'm too interested sometimes. I wish I'd meet someone who I'd be comfortable around. I wish I'd meet someone who isn't bothered by the fact that I'm a bit clingy, but afraid to touch. I wish I'd meet someone who wants to understand me, even though I can't exactly tell them what there is about me worth being understood. 

I wish I were more.

I wish I were less.

I wish I wish I wish.

I sound pathetic. And needy. And really really mundane.

I sound boring and lonely.

I am boring and lonely.