Love.

Love. The one thing i've been yearning all my life.

I have so much love to offer,  so much devotion for someone who gives me a sliver of affection. The thing with me is that i overromanticize everything because of this. When i tell my friends i have a crush,i don't really have one,but i've chosen a person who lives up to my minimal standards. I never admit that though. ''Love will find you when you're not looking for it!'' ''Love is like a butterfly,you can't chase it!'' But what happens if someone's always looking,someone's always chasing that butterfly,no matter how much they try to ignore it. I tried everything'focusing on my career,my friends,myself but theres always this part of me which is yearning for someone to hold,someone to kiss someone that listens to my problems without running away. Everytime i meet someone new i always think''Could this be my partner?'' Instead of looking for a friend. I lay hours awake my delusions feeding me until i realize it's nothing. I have so much to give yet nothing to give it to.

It's not that i'm the most unlovable person ever;I'm decent looking if i do say so myself, i'm mostly nice to people,except people i don't like. I laugh at jokes even at the stupid ones,i give my possesions away to make others happy,thing of everyone else before i think of myself.t my grades are decent! I like music,go to events,have hobbies people consider cool. i am not racist nor homophobic and i come up for peoples rights. I'm always available to call,text,cry,laugh to. 

So why am i still not loved in the way i want? is my wish to big? have i done something wrong in my past life? I don't understand,i really don't

i.just.want.to.be.loved.

Not as a friend,but as a lover.a parnter.