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In my old tumblr days i once read about a word, which supposedly conveyed the meaning of writing poetry and hiding it in ones drawer, never-ever showing it to anyone. i was fascinated by this, for it resonated with me: my own poetry has always been something very private and intimate for me. for the longest time it was for me and for me only, my own personal therapy. by now i know, that this word most likely does not exist (tumblr users loved to assign romantic meaning to foreign words), but nonetheless i still think about it regularly. for me, there is beauty in creating only for myself and its importance should be highlighted.
at the same time i had to realize, that not everything i kept hidden (be it in my drawer or most often my mind) is meant to be hidden. some of my thoughts deserve to be put out there. i do not think they need to reach someone necessarily, it’s more so practice of showing myself to the world/the endless void of the internet (?) (which i do have a desire for - it is the weird contradiction of not wanting to be perceived at all while also sharing my view of the wold, creating an identity going beyond the confinements of my room and mind).
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raspberrie
I’m so mesmerised with the picture of the ocean
Onyx ☆
I mean, it wouldnt hurt to share it to the world. But at the same time, i'm not going too. I put alot of my soul into my poems, and usually i find myself writing it when im in my feelings. And im sure alot of other people agree.
But also, i feel like there's alot of judgement with writing. Sure, everything is judged. But i would rather not share my poems, and it gets dissected then spat out and stomped on.
And this is mostly me, but i do like having things for only myself. Having a thing for just myself is a thing i didnt always have, so being able to write and pour myself into a thing only i will see. It's beautiful to me
i understand completely! i have these two sides in me, one that wants to keep everything to myself, protect it (i too often write as a form of therapy so a lot of it is highly personal). on the other hand i am proud of my writing, and to some extend crave it to be known.
by dantearis; ; Report
Onyx ☆
I mean, it wouldnt hurt to share it to the world. But at the same time, i'm not going too. I put alot of my soul into my poems, and usually i find myself writing it when im in my feelings. And im sure alot of other people agree.
But also, i feel like there's alot of judgement with writing. Sure, everything is judged. But i would rather not share my poems, and it gets dissected then spat out and stomped on.
And this is mostly me, but i do like having things for only myself. Having a thing for just myself is a thing i didnt always have, so being able to write and pour myself into a thing only i will see. It's beautiful to me
Onyx ☆
I mean, it wouldnt hurt to share it to the world. But at the same time, i'm not going too. I put alot of my soul into my poems, and usually i find myself writing it when im in my feelings. And im sure alot of other people agree.
But also, i feel like there's alot of judgement with writing. Sure, everything is judged. But i would rather not share my poems, and it gets dissected then spat out and stomped on.
And this is mostly me, but i do like having things for only myself. Having a thing for just myself is a thing i didnt always have, so being able to write and pour myself into a thing only i will see. It's beautiful to me
Keerfloey
And which's the word??
I don't write poetry, I just write stuff, and, idk, yeah, It's just that when you write something like that, specially a poem, and even more specially if its because of something personal, y'know... it's like, getting naked HAHAHAHGA, you're exposing your feelings, your views, whatever, so, of course it feels a little scary because you'd be vulnerable to criticisms and things like that.
Btw I also feel the same regarding wanting to share things but not wanting to be exactly perceived. Like, at least in my case, I just don't want to be so known, because, idk, I feel it'd be tiring and too exposing, y'know? Idk that's my case.
I researched it, as the tumblr post no longer exists. I think that the word does not exist, sadly. Like i wrote in the post, back then it was very common for tumblr users to take pretty sounding words from other languages and assign them their own meaning. Noone even questioned it.
I agree with you. In general i get very anxious about showing other people what i wrote, but if it is extremely personal and sort of dark (like my poetry is), then it is even more exposing. Especially because i do like my writing to an extend and sometimes even giggle over the "bauty of my own words", so it would be very crushing, if people don't appreciate it at all.
by dantearis; ; Report