Cardio Class

I’m taking a Cardio class this summer to get some GED points out of the way for my Associates Degree, and we have to do some cardio exercise 4 times a week accumulating at least 5 hours of workouts. That’s kind of a crazy amount to me considering I work 5 days a week (10 hr shifts) and have 3 other classes but that’s what I signed up for I guess ʅ（◞_◟）ʃ

I started just yesterday and thought, “this probably won’t be so bad. It’ll be good for me”, which then, 5 minutes in, turned into, “I don’t want to do this. Why did I take this stupid class”. I’ve never been the sporty type. I was in marching band in high school (against my will) and that’s probably the healthiest I’ve been but since then I’ve been on and off going to the gym. I’m currently keeping a pretty ok schedule of going to the gym every week, but cardio has always been a nightmare. I remember running those mile tests in middle school PE and just bombing it every time. I think I’ve always been a good weight for my age and height, it’s just not something I’ve been good at or cared to train.

As I run, my sides start to ache like a sharp knife stabbing into my rib cage. My mouth fills with saliva. I struggle to breathe, suffocating as my lungs expand as much as they can without exploding. Although I feel they might. I feel like Mob or that one vid I keep seeing of a anime guy running like a Zombie. 

Yep, runnings not for me, but this is just the first time in a while. I really do want to get better at this. I want to be able to run without the embarrassment of my face turning as red as a tomato, gasping for air, and not even getting that far before having to stop or I might just throw up. This is bad. I can lift weights and feel better about myself. I can go on walks and even speed walk regularly. This is just unhealthy that i let it get this bad. I’ll get there though. I have to do this 4 times a week after all. And after 6 weeks straight, maybe I’ll be able to run like a normal person.

Something that always deterred me from running, especially outside, is how people look at me. As I was running, there was this older guy on a bike that kept looking back at me, obviously checking me out, and it made me feel gross. Worse that the sweat dripping down my face, worse than the mouth full of saliva I had to spit out at one point. I forgot about this. I wasn’t even wearing anything revealing or tight. I wore a baggy shirt and some MENS basketball shorts that go down to my knees. As a trans man, working out and gaining muscle has been such a euphoric feeling that helped me feel better about myself, but at the same time, working out drew attention that I had always feared and made me hide away in the first place. I noticed 3 other creeps staring at me as I passed them. 

I have to use Strava for this class

Distance: 1.88 miles

Pace: 13:22 /mile

Moving time: 26:16

I don’t think it’s terrible but it’s not good. It took like 15 minutes for my face to stop being red. I could already feel my legs were sore and, coming to ya on the second day, they are S O R E. I went for a walk this morning for the Rockport walking test thing we had to do and I know I’m gonna have a bit of a hard time at work this weekend. But hey, maybe I’ll get those big calf muscles my brother has. I’ll be tracking my progress through the semester so maybe I’ll share some of that progress. If you have any suggestions on how to improve I’d love to hear it. I am in a class for this so I’ll definitely learn some there but it’s always good to hear others’ suggestions.

Thank you!