should i run away?^-^

my heart feels heavy and sad and i don't know why, everyday is just another repeating cycle of a boring day where i make no progress.

i feel like everyone moved forward and i'm left behind. everyone has their life sorted out except for me i want to put in the effort but i can't be bothered. It's so hard to keep such strong feelings to myself.

it's easier said than done, don't tell me to "just try to do something" i try and it's hard and i can't help but give up on hopes of moving forward or having a good life. 

i've been drawn to the idea of running away these days, but it's hard and it would most definantly end up as a fail or a thought that's just buried somewhere in my brain pestering me. 

i don't have any dreams, and i don't wanna be successful or have a stable job when i grow up. it's all so controlling, trapping you in a vicious cycle that you can't escape and i don't want that 

i don't know what to do, nor what to feel.

 my life has no motive.