Ego Entry 3: "if its not forever then do it again!"

trigger warnings????????: mentions of s/a

6/9 funny number haha happy 69 everyone.

still very paranoid about what happened yesterday (refer to this blog for context) but I haven't gotten any text messages from unknown phone numbers today so maybe it's okay? I don't know, since they have my phone number I know I cant really escape them unless I manage to get a whole new phone.

there's not anything I can really do now though. there isn't anything I can do about the situation at all. if I post anything related to him on my account on [the social media that will remain unnamed] they'll find a way to contact me again and harass me. they're just trying to keep me quiet, I know that. they don't want me talking about my experiences, and I'm too scared to even post about the current situation.

they told me he was doing great. still has all his friends. new boyfriend too, I knew he started talking to him a day after we broke up. I'm not jealous, I don't miss him at all, I just wish that was me with all of my friends. I'd like a new boyfriend who didn't treat me like shit too. instead I'm stuck again with a single friend who barely tolerates me. I can't talk to anyone else. I don't know how to talk to anyone else. I usually want to be very optimistic about situations like these, but it always seems so hopeless

earlier this week, one of my friends (?) deleted all of his socials and blocked everyone on places where they could reach out. I still don't know where he is or if he's safe. I'm just worried since I know he has some mental issues. I don't mean to talk about someone's personal life either, but his girlfriend (I don't remember correctly, I could be wrong) had sexually assaulted him about a week before this. it's not really my place to talk about this as we didn't talk very frequently but I still thought he was a nice guy to socialize with and stuff... . since I didn't know him that much I feel odd for being so concerned about him (odd thinking process). I'm sure he's okay, maybe. I don't know.

if he's reading this: hey dude I hope ur doing okay I'm so sorry life is so cruel, I also wish I showed a little more concern and reached out but I didn't want to bother you at all as I assumed that maybe you would want space instead of someone trying to get all up in ur biz you know haha, I'm so sorry I hope you're okay and safe.

I think thats all I wanted to share, I dont know... sorry, the past 2 blogs have had a lot of trigger warnings, I dont mean for it to be that way but that's just what happens haha. okay I'm done now

thank you spacehey, end of ego entry 3